Pronouns she they are personal pronouns used to refer to individuals based on gender identity. "She" denotes feminine identity, while "they" serves as a gender-neutral or plural pronoun. Using both reflects recognition of non-binary and gender-diverse identities.
When someone uses "she" as a pronoun, they identify as female or feminine. This usage aligns with traditional English grammar, where "she" refers to a single individual of female gender. For example, if a woman named Aisha says her pronouns are "she," others should refer to her as "she" in conversation and writing.
"They" functions as a singular pronoun in modern English, especially when referring to a person whose gender is non-binary, genderqueer, or unspecified. It avoids assuming gender and supports inclusivity. For instance, if a colleague named Jordan identifies as non-binary and uses "they," saying "Jordan finished the report-they submitted it yesterday" correctly reflects their identity.
English grammar traditionally separates singular and plural forms. "She" is singular feminine; "they" is traditionally plural. However, since the 16th century, "they" has been used as a singular pronoun to avoid gendered assumptions. This usage is now standard in formal writing, supported by major style guides.
The Associated Press Stylebook (2023) states: "Use 'they' as a singular pronoun when the gender of the person referred to is unknown or irrelevant." Similarly, the Chicago Manual of Style (17th ed.) allows "they" as a singular pronoun when clarity and respect are prioritized.
Consider this example: "A student left their book behind." Here, "their" and "they" refer to one student, not multiple people. This construction eliminates the need to default to "he" or "she" when gender is unknown or irrelevant.
Gender pronouns fall into categories based on identity and grammatical function. The table below outlines common forms.
| Pronoun Type | Examples | Use Case |
|---|---|---|
| Feminine | she, her, hers, herself | Used by individuals who identify as female or feminine |
| Gender-neutral singular | they, them, their, themselves | Used by non-binary, genderfluid, or agender individuals |
| Plural | they, them, theirs, themselves | Used for multiple people regardless of gender |
Some people use multiple pronouns. For example, a person may say, "My pronouns are she/they." This means they accept both "she" and "they" as valid references. In speech, this might sound like: "She gave the presentation. They were very confident."
Using both "she" and "they" together in a single context requires careful attention to subject-verb agreement. For instance: "She went to the meeting. They spoke afterward." This avoids confusion by matching each pronoun to its intended referent.
A frequent error is treating "they" as strictly plural. While "they" historically referred to multiple people, modern usage accepts it as singular. This shift is well-documented in linguistic research. According to the Oxford English Dictionary, "they" as a singular pronoun dates back to the 1300s, though it gained widespread acceptance only in the 20th century.
Another misconception is that using "they" undermines grammar. In reality, "they" as a singular pronoun follows established patterns. For example, "Everyone brought their lunch" uses "their" to match a singular indefinite subject. This construction is grammatically correct and widely accepted in both spoken and written English.
Some assume that "she" and "they" cannot coexist. But many people use both. In my experience during a team workshop, a participant introduced themselves as "I go by she/they." I used "she" in a sentence about their presentation and "they" in a follow-up about their feedback. The group responded positively, noting that the dual usage felt natural and respectful.
Respecting pronouns is a form of basic human dignity. Misgendering someone-using incorrect pronouns-can cause emotional distress, especially for transgender and non-binary individuals. A 2021 study by the National Center for Transgender Equality found that 78% of transgender people reported negative mental health impacts from being misgendered at work or school.
Using correct pronouns signals inclusion. In professional settings, asking for pronouns during introductions reduces the burden on individuals to disclose their identity. It normalizes the practice and creates safer environments.
For example, a university professor began each class by inviting students to share their pronouns. Within weeks, participation increased among students who previously avoided speaking due to fear of misgendering. This small change improved classroom dynamics and student engagement.
Start by asking people directly. Use phrases like, "What pronouns do you use?" or "Could you share your pronouns?" Avoid guessing. Even if someone appears to fit a gender stereotype, their pronouns may differ.
If you make a mistake, correct yourself calmly. Say, "Sorry-I meant to say 'they'." Apologizing briefly and moving on maintains respect without drawing undue attention.
When writing, include pronouns in email signatures or profile bios. For example: "Hi, I'm Sam. My pronouns are she/they." This sets expectations and models inclusive behavior.
Understanding and using "pronouns she they" correctly supports equity and clarity. These tools aren't just linguistic-they're ethical choices that affirm identity and build trust.
When you say "she" or "they," you're not just choosing words. You're acknowledging someone's existence as they define it. That's the power of pronouns.